And what’s inside most of those illustrated children’s bible tends to be a much-sanitized version of the real thing.
By making Scripture palatable to pre-schoolers and pre-teens, we rob it of its wildness and unpredictability.
Sometimes what you find when you actually open the bible up is shocking. Hilarious. Nuanced. Bloody. Rated PG-13. Or R.
So here they are: my top five stories that you won’t find in your illustrated children’s bible:
5. Jael and Sisera from Judges 4. A remote tent, a skin of warm milk, and a serial rapist gets some earthly judgment.
4. Abraham passes Sarah off as his sister. Twice. At best it is deception. At worst, prostitution. All for the sake of Abraham’s skin.
3. The anonymous naked guy in Mark’s account of Jesus’ arrest. Children should never hear the words “anonymous” and “naked” in the same sentence.
2. Elisha gets even with kids who make fun of his male pattern baldness. A lesson for all of you: be careful of what you say about religious leaders’ hair..
1. Noah gets drunk and naked after the storm. I can’t wait to preach on this one this Sunday!
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You’re preaching about that bit of Noah? Color me intrigued. 🙂
It’s called “After The Storm.” Yikes!
What about Lot & the angels, Lot & his daughters, and Judah & Tamar? That stuff is messed up!
Yes, the problem was not in finding enough material; it was in not including too much!
When I worked with junior highers, I did a yearly Sunday School series called “Stories Ya Mamma Never Told You.” I used a flannel graphs and everything. It brought up a lot of discussions about why all the flannel graph folks are smiling and helped them transition from the saccharine children’s program into a more complex view of God and the Bible.