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Preventology, Week 2 — “The Butterfly Sex Effect” Sermon Rewind
May 23, 2016 at 3:47 am 0
Below is "The Butterfly Sex Effect," a message in which I:
  • Acknowledged a place in life where the Hindu/Buddhist concept of karma rings uncomfortably true;
  • Confessed to having personal space issues;
  • Referenced John Mellencamp, England Dan & John Ford Coley, and Timbuk 3;
  • Declared to singles:  "if God can raise the dead, he can keep your pants on";
  • Moved from meteorology to biology to family dynamics;
  • Talked about a modern American Adultery Hall Of Shame;
  • Tried to contaminate people's fantasies.
  • After several wordsmithing attempts, arrived at this bottom line . . . a bottom line in which the cadence means everything:
Stay away . . . from those who don't see the way . . . life is connected.     -------------------------------------------------- I assume many of you have heard of what they call the “Butterfly Effect.”  It’s the notion that a butterfly flapping its wings at a certain time and in a certain way in Rio de Janeiro will influence the atmosphere just enough that three weeks later Texas will have an outbreak of tornadoes rather than a week of sunshine.  The smallest actions in one place have enormous consequences someplace else.  With the “B.E.” comes the idea of that all of life is connected, inter-related and that is it naïve to think that an action you take HERE won’t have a consequence somewhere else.                  And if you ponder it at all, it is sort of true on its face, is it not?  That everything about us and our present will one day become our past which will influence our future?  There is no decision or action taken in absolute isolation from every other decision or action.  Take the concept out of the realm of meteorology & put it into the realm of biology.  You know enough about the human body to know that 3 packs a day NOW makes it exponentially more likely that you will contract lung cancer THEN.  Life is related, nothing is isolated.  A six pack a night that becomes two leads to job loss, family upheaval, a night in jail and a stint in rehab.  It’s all connected.  I’m not telling you anything you don’t know; just reminding you of what you may have forgotten.                  It’s all connected – beyond biology and into relationships.  When Nancy Reagan died a couple of months ago, her daughter Patti Davis – who’d had a frankly tortured relationship w/ her mom – wrote this incredibly insightful line:  “to understand our parents we must know theirs.”  Whoa.  And I know so little given the age of my parents!  So wise.  It’s all connected.  How you were parented has everything to do with how your parents were parented.  And how you are parenting today has everything to do with how you were parented yesterday. Moms & dads: that’s what you’re doing to your own children – for good and for ill – on this very day.  Small actions today have enormous implications tomorrow.  And there’s one other area in which clarity & wisdom come from seeing the B.E. at work and heartache & isolation come from ignoring:  romance, intimacy, sex, and marriage.                  See, where digging into Proverbs in this Preventology series.  And not just because both begin with “P.”  But because Proverbs is all about preventing crises rather than managing them.  And as we get to Ch. 5 of this remarkable collection of wisdom, the book takes on the feel of a father-son / teacher-student lecture, and the seriousness of the upcoming subject is apparent in 5:1a:   My son, pay attention to my wisdom,   Hey son!  Listen up! Next sentence:   turn your ear to my words of insight,   Same idea, spoken a slightly different way.  This upcoming terrain is exceedingly imp so pay attn.                 And then look at 5:3:   For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,     and her speech is smoother than oil;   The lips of the woman. Not her beauty, just what she says.  Not how she looks, what she thinks.  Not the visual.  The verbal.  Now: this particular dialog is in the form of father-son, so the warning is against an adulterous woman, but can we be adult enough to realize that it goes both ways? That it’s speaking just as clearly about guys on the make?  About playuhs?!  Because look at the bitterness that comes from succumbing to adultery’s words in 5:4:   but in the end she is bitter as gall,     sharp as a double-edged sword.   Now: jump down to 5:11-12 – we’re GONNA circle back, but I really want you to see this now –    At the end of your life you will groan,     when your flesh and body are spent. 12 You will say, “How I hated discipline!     How my heart spurned correction!                 You know what this is?  Old Man Regret!  Old Lady Regret!  So vivid.  The ultimate coulda woulda shoulda.  And I see that and the litany begins in my mind:  John Edwards (AV). Mark Sanford (AV). Jimmy Swaggart (AV). Bill Clinton (AV).  Not even just guys – we've even had female pastors in the UMC throw ministries away with affairs.  Those exposed by Ashley Madison.  Hi profile ppl with the world by its tail, a future so bright you gotta wear shades, and throw it away for (good) old-fashioned adultery.  Living examples of Proverbs 5:11-12.  Momentary excitement in exchange for lifetime of embarrassment & shame and “how could yous?!?!”                  But really, it’s not just the ones on the news who get me; it’s the anonymous ones.  The ones I know.  Here.  And ones I DON’T KNOW. Both those for whom Prov. 5 has already happened and the weight is incredibly heavy AND those who are slowly, imperceptibly inching there … & I am praying my words are helping prevent.  Those who are snacking, flirting, fantasizing.  Because remember the series?  Preventology!  What do I want to prevent with this?  Not only affiars but the hauting, hurting, body aching regret that follows.  I long for the people of this church NOT to experience the bitter reality of Proverbs 5:11-12. Proverbs paints the picture and then says, “Don’t be that guy!  Don’t be that girl!”                 And do you know where all this starts and how all this related?  Look at 5:6, realizing it applies to adulterous men as well:   She gives no thought to the way of life;     her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.   Oh!  She/he sees life as a series is isolated, disconnected encounters!  That what you do with your body & heart in the moment has NO BEARING on the moments that will follow.  And you know who else thinks that way?  THE WHOLE USA!  Higher ed.  Hollywood.  Ashley Madison.  The internet.  Life is disconnected and you have encounter A, B, C, D & they isolated from each other and not related to the rest of your life.  What a load of bull! Scripture pains SUCH a different picture & all of life is a connected web – more strongly with sex & romance than anywhere else – and every event has consequences that are unavoidable.  (Buddhists & Hindus have something on us!  Sexual karma is right!)  That’s why some of you who “sowed your wild oats” before you married after been unable to settle down afterwards – because patterns, habits, consequences have an ongoing ripple effect.                  It’s all related.  It’s why it’s the Butterfly Sex Effect.  And that is much more profound in marriage.  There are people out there and people in here who continue to see sexuality & fidelity as independent, isolated actions of two bodies rather than as a deeply related mingling of two souls.  And look what Proverbs says in light of all that in 5:7-8, noting the repeated command to “listen” (DOUBLY serious):  READ.  Stay away. Don’t go near.  So here it is, people for whom I want to prevent heartache & trauma:  Stay away . . . from those who don't see the way . . . life is connected.  Some guys & some girls willingly or unwillingly don’t see the butterfly sex effect.  Don’t be that guy/girl.  More important, don’t go near them.  Especially, ESPECIALLY, if you find them attractive.  Disconnect from those who don’t see the way life connects.   Stay away . . . from those who don't see the way . . . life is connected.                 Because here’s what I know some married people are doing right now.  You find that guy or that girl attractive.  You’re sniffing the air, snacking on the fantasy.  Flirting we often call it.  And online life, digital life, throws a whole new dimension into those possibilities.  You’re not necessarily thinking affairs now . . . but you’re inching towards the line.  Will they FB me?  Will they text me back?  Will they think I’m funny?  Will they will they will they?  Listen: you tempt fate in that way and fate wins!  And the ache of Prov 5:11-12 will be yours.  Stay away . . . from those who don't see the way . . . life is connected.                 And get this, guys, especially, though I’m sure it applies to females as well:  no one flirts from a position of security.  You get flattered. She compliments, he touches, she texts, he sends a note . . . your endorphins release, you feel 16 again, and all of a sudden it’s GAME ON.  Let me bring you down to earth.  No one flirts from a place of security.  You are just on the receiving end of that person’s insecurity, expressed as flirtation.  Worse:  you’re not the first & you won’t be the last.  It’s all from his insecurity, his lack of confidence & the more vulnerable you are to it, the more you are becoming temporarily blind to life’s connections.  I’m here to throw cold water on all that  (DO IT????) ; to contaminate your fantasy.  It’s not love, it’s not you belonged to someone else when the right one came along; it’s a deep pathology.  This affair that is suddenly in front of you is in no way isolated, disconnected.  It’s butterfly sex and the tsunami it will cause will be deadly.  Stay away . . . from those who don't see the way . . . life is connected.                 Beyond all that, you who are increasingly vulnerable to flirtation.  Here’s an obvious sexual equation: he who will cheat with you will cheat on you. She. You are living, bodily proof of that fact.  That’s why the few affairs that turn into remarriage have a perfectly dismal record of longevity.  Duh.                  Can I have a word to singles?  Look at Hebrews 13:4: keep the marriage bed pure.  Oh, Lord, keeping the marriage bed pure starts BEFORE you’re married.  Now.  I don’t care about your history.  I know that a whole lot of people have already broken boundaries in this area of life.  But here’s what else I know: if Jesus can raise the dead, he can keep your pants on from now on.  He can.  You are in his image.  You are his precious possession.  So by his power & grace & intervention, resolve:  I’m having a pure bed from now on.  Because I guarantee that level of post-marital faithfulness is directly related to the level of pre-marital purity.  You may think a message on preventing affairs & their bitter aftermath doesn’t apply to you singles, but it does. Stay away . . . from those who don't see the way . . . life is connected.                 So: how?  How does this knowledge of a principle – REFRAIN – get lived out.  Is it OK if I get very practical here? You can even jot this stuff down?                 First, look at 5:2:   that you may maintain discretion     and your lips may preserve knowledge.   I love that.  You know that the erosion of public discretion has led to the erasure of private discipline, right?  We’re not discreet about anything anymore. That’s why FB, Instagram, and Snapchat.  Hey: be discreet.  If you got it, you don’t need to flaunt it!                 Second, maybe you’ve heard of the wedding ceremony where they had a unity candle moment & afterwards the bride & groom both blew their candles out after lighting the new one.  The preacher turned and said to the congregation: “That means no old flames.”  BOOM!  Right! Close the door on all that.  The internet makes all kinds of reconnections possible that make you hold on to 16 as long as you can . . . but you can’t.  So don’t.                  Third, do not confide about marital probs with anyone of them opposite sex.  I’ve had so many say to me in adultery’s aftermath, “Oh, he was my confidante.”  No, he wanted to sleep with you.                 Fourth, speak well of your mate in public.  Populate your work space with photos.  On so many occasions, I meet people Julie works with & they always say, “Oh, I feel like I know you so well already?”  Why? Because she tells them about me.  What a gift!  Which so speaks to what Proverbs 5 tells is the ultimate in affair prevention: look at 5:18-20:    May your fountain be blessed,     and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—     may her breasts satisfy you always,     may you ever be intoxicated with her love. 20 Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife?     Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?   I love that!  Want what you already have.  Instead of intoxication with the new & the strange, drink deeply and drunkenly from who you already have.  And if you’re like, “yeah, but he’s not as good looking as new guy! She’s not as hot as affair girl!” then look in the mirror. Neither are you.  Cold water.  Want, desire, learn to long for what is already have.           Because I in contrast to all those John Edwards-esque headlines, I have dreams of new ones (AV):  PASTOR STAYED FAITHFUL LAST NIGHT.  CHRISTIAN BUSINESSWOMAN KEPT HER VOWS.  LOCAL CHURCH REPORTS A DIVORCE-FREE  YEAR.  PROVERBS 5:11-12 A THING OF THE PAST.                  Why?  All of life is connected.  And just how much?  Listen to this from Time Magazine, from an issue called Unfaithfully Yours: Or is marriage an institution that still hews to its old intention & function – to raise the next generation, to protect and teach it, to instill in it the habits of conduct and character that will ensure the generation’s own safe passage into adulthood.  Think of it this way: the current generation of children, the one watching commitments between adults snap like dry twigs and observing parents who simply can’t be bothered to marry each other and who drift in and out of their children’s lives – that’s the generation who will be taking care of us when we are old.   Get sermon tips and updates from my Sermon Help newsletter.
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Uncategorized
The Light At The Beginning Of The Tunnel, Week 5 – The “Final Light” Sermon Rewind
May 2, 2016 at 3:56 am 1
This message incorporated many of my favorite things about being a preacher.  Such as . . .
  • A slight poke at Left Behind teaching;
  • A reliance on the wisdom of Epic Of Eden by Sandy Richter;
  • A pointed word at how human narcissism extends even to our picture of heaven;
  • An even more pointed word about the reality of hell AND our feeble attempts to deny its existence;
  • A grateful reminder that God doesn't judge on a curve, thank God.
  • A bottom line that re-orients popular conceptions of the end of time:  Paradise isn't a place you go.  It's a Person who comes.
  • A closing exercise with the Lamb's Book Of Life that looked like this:
  Lambs Book Of Life 5.1.16     -------------------------------------------------------- There’s a fair amount of attention given to the end of the world, isn’t there?  Like for some of you, I’m sure a Trump presidency will augur the end of the world.  Others, a Hillary presidency will do the same.  And if your personal disposition is governed by presidential politics, then REM’s song WON’T be true:  PLAY CLIP, because you WON’T feel fine.  Gosh, along more explicitly spiritual lines, maybe you read those Left Behind books or maybe you were one of the dozen or so people who saw the LB movies, which gave Kirk Cameron’s (AV) career a much-needed boost.  Or if you’re into other kinds of end times novels, there’s the dystopia of Station Eleven (AV) and the very long dystopia of The Stand (AV) by Stephen King.     And then there’s these insights into how print media (explain what that is!) would cover the end.  USA Today:  WE’RE DEAD.  Discover Journal:  HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?    Ladies H Journal:  LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY W/ OUR NEW ARMAGEDDON DIET!  And my favorite, from Sports Illustrated:  GAME OVER.  (AV all of the above, dissolve).     I’ve even joined in the end of the world fray.  In years gone by I’ve preached messages like What Does The Bible REALLY Say About The End Of The World, a whole series on Revelation called NUMB3RS (AV),  and assorted comments here and there that have challenged some of you and comforted others.     So today, as The Light At The Beginning Of The Tunnel nears its conclusion with a message called Final Light, we’ll be touching on that very subject, though in a way completely different from what’s come before and, I believe, from what you might have heard before.  And if you’ve been paying attention over the last few weeks, you know the series began with First Light and now with a Final Light conclusion, it should all make total sense because the first and the final will end up having an inordinate amount in common.     So this final light I’m talking about is in an appropriate place in the biblical library: Revelation.  Not just Revelation, but the end of the end book.  The final pages of the final book in the stacks!  Now: before you get all predictive on me, you need to know, you HAVE to know that Revelation is neither calendar nor crystal ball.  Don’t look through it and begin checking off events that have happened – oh, there’s the fall of the Berlin Wall, check, there’s the attack of 9/11, check, there’s President Obama, check and figure since THAT has happened, THIS must be next.  That’s not the kind of book it is; in fact, in can’t mean to us what it didn’t mean to them, the first readers.  And they weren’t overly concerned with either the Berlin Wall or President Obama!  So the vast majority of Revelation has to do with the turmoil, upheaval going on THEN, in the 1st century.  Yet after all that rush of imagery & violence, things slow down a lot in chapters 21 & 22 and what we get is some imagery about the last days.  Not to predict WHEN!  (Did you know Christopher Columbus said that for sure the world would end in 1656?  His bad!)  Not to predict . . . to anticipate.     To anticipate what?  Oh, look at 21:2:   I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.   Ah, the ARRIVAL of a whole new realm of being.  Eternity is not about a mass departure of the human race to someplace else! It’s the arrival of a whole new way of being and living and loving!  Then look at 21:22-23:   22 I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. 23 The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.   Notice the first thing - not the where, not the what, but the   WHO: the Lord himself.  And do you see the phenomena in v. 23?  READ.  There IS light but there’s NOT a sun and moon.  Huh.  Do you know where and when else that happened?  Ah!  Genesis 1, where you’ve got 3 days and nights before the sun & moon even created!  (One way you know Gen 1 isn’t trying to be a science book.)    Then skip down to 22:5 to see it again: READ.  Again!  In these endless days of the end, the Lord is the light and no alternative source is needed.  JUST LIKE AT THE BEGINNING.  Tuck that awy.     But now look at 21:24-27:   24 The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. 25 On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. 26 The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it. 27 Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.      Ah, something gorgeous awaits at the end.  That nations – peoples, pagans, Gentiles – all coming into the city.  The King of the Jews has opened up paradise up, first to the Jew, then to the Gentile, just like Paul promised in Romans.  And 22:1-3:   Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him.   OMG.  The bible is so interesting when you actually read it.  The endless end, paradise, is so much less about streets of gold and so much more about a garden of glory.  And where else has that image come from, what with a deep river and lush garden?  Right!  Genesis!  Eden!  You pile on these images – light without sun and moon, running waters with no end, lush gardens with no tending, leafy greens for all and it’s so clear what the end of the world really is:  a return to the beginning.  The curse of the first Eden reversed and renewed in the final Eden.  Because where the first Adam failed, the Second Adam Jesus triumphed!  The last plan is the first plan!  The New Jerusalem is the Garden of Eden!  The final light is the first light!  How badly we’ve missed our understandings of heaven & eternity, REM or not!  God will not be frustrated, all will be restored to its pristine, original beauty.  Love it love it love it!     And there’s more, and it’s better.  Circle “Lord God” and “Lamb” in 21:22.  Same in 21:23.  Same in 22:1.  Same in 22:3.  And circle “his his his” in 22:3-4.  (And notice his “name on the foreheads” in 22:4! We’re so worried bout the mark of the beast that we fail to notice the name of the king!)  And then in 22:5, notice & circle again:  “Lord God.”  All these names and personal pronouns, one after another after another, piled on high, this laser focus on the PERSON IN CHARGE, the Godhead, and it’s becoming so clear what John is doing in painting this picture of the endless end.  Paradise, the final light that never goes out, the realm of resurrection, is much less a place and much more a Person.  The repeated personal references make that conclusion inescapable.  And then you remember 21:2 – I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband  – and its suddenly clear why all our hopes for flying away to heaven and longing to escape earth are so misguided.  And so lacking in trust of our God.     Because here’s what the final light means:  Paradise is not a place you go.  It’s a Person who comes.  The person of Jesus, the lamb, the light, first, the last, the alpha, the omega.  I don’t have to know much more about mansions, houses, gold, folklore, none of those distractions, to know eternity is about HIM.  It’s like Leith Anderson says: READ What makes heaven heaven is God.     See, we have trivialized heaven & eternity by making it about us!  Just read the obituaries one day!  Heaven gained another angel.  He’s up there playing a heavenly 18 holes.  She’s hosting a tea party. They’re playing guitar together now.  No!  Bull!  How much more narcissistic can we be?!  Heaven is not to make you happy; it’s to bring him glory.  And his glory is the brightest kind.  Paradise is not a place you go.  It’s a Person who comes.     Because you know it’s called The Second Coming and not The Second Going, don’t you?  It is!  He is coming!  When?  Dunno.  Don’t guess.  How?  Vividly, unmistakably, suddenly.  And his light will shine endlessly.  And in that endless end, everything is restored.  Look at 22:3 again: READ.  The curse of sin is reversed.  All is returned to its original, pristine condition.  Every flaw is fixed.  Every hurt is healed.  Every wrong is righted.  It’s like the restoration of an antique car (AV Before & After), only all of creation.  And get this: even the hurts YOU CAUSED.  The people you hit.  The marriages you ended.  The parents you disrespected.  The kids you devastated.  Because I know we have a lot of victims here but I daresay some victimizers as well and you’ve wondered if it will ever be made right.  In this life, maybe.  In the next, certainly.  The entire universe will be made whole and returned to the innocence of Eden.  Paradise is not a place you go.  It’s a Person who comes.     And I don’t know about you . . . but that assurance makes all else in life make sense.  It gives perspective.  When you KNOW the end of the story, the crappy parts in the middle are a lot easier to take.  It may seem small – and I may have told you before – but as a new Xn and a teenager, I’d wake up & still have acne.  God didn’t heal it.  But I had the strangest assurance: one day it will be gone.  And now, at 54 when I’m ALMOST acne free, that’s just a foreshadow of the condition of my resurrected body dwelling in midst of the brilliant glory of the Lamb!  The fact that the final light never ends makes the current darkness much more bearable.  We fight in this life not FOR victory but FROM it – like pro wrestling!!  Paradise is not a place you go.  It’s a Person who comes.     But wait wait wait.  If you’ve been listening and reading, you may have noticed that I skimmed over 21:27:    27 Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.   Uh oh.  Meaning:  just as there is a realm of never ending light, there is a realm of never ending dark.  Just as there is a place defined by the Lord’s PRESENCE, so is there a realm defined by his ABSENCE.  It’s called hell.  And this is the place where I will often tell a few hell jokes, show some Far Side hell cartoons, lighten the mood, lessen the tension, but not today.  You know why?  I think we often trivialize hell in order to rationalize the rebellion that lands us there.  We make it less awful than it is to make us less sinful than we are.  Well not here and not today.  God forbid that GSUMC ever give you a “religious tranquilizer” so you falsely feel you have just enough religion so that you’re in a relaxed state when you land in hell.  May it never be.     And before you go off thinking, a lovin’ God wouldn’t send nobody to hell, think of it this way: how would you feel about a God who didn’t punish the authors of Auschwitz (AV)?  The pilots of 9.11?  The assassins of ISIS?  The cowards of the KKK? A God who turned a blind, benevolent eye to THAT is a God to be wary of.  And since he MUST punish . . . well, where’s the line?  Auschwitzers deserve it but then who else?  We usually think, “whoever is worse than me!”  Ah, that’s not NT thinking!  That’s thinking that God grades on a curve and he doesn’t.  He judges based on blood.  The Lamb’s blood Are you washed in it or not?   Because believing that and entering into never ending light is not about what you do; it’s about who you know.  Realizing the one who died and resurrected is THE light at the beginning and the end of the tunnel AND at the end of it all his light is so bright it overwhelms the tunnel itself!  It’s so much like the woman I know with bad cancer (as opposed to good cancer!).  She says, simply, “if I beat it and live, I win.  If the disease gets me here and I die, I’m with the Lord.  So I win.  Either way, I win.”   Oh, cancer or not, elderly or not, I want that assurance for you.  I want that ultimate, ultimate WIN-WIN for you.  I want you to live the rest of your days with the rock solid assurance of Paradise is not a place you go.  It’s a Person who comes.  
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