I have been thinking about how my understanding of my specific role as a pastor has changed through the years.

Twenty years ago, in a small rural parish, my role was to provide comfort and counsel to people through the ministry of visitation. The first words my first District Superintendent ever spoke to me were these: "I have three part plan for your success: 1) visit your people; 2) visit your people; 3) visit your people." So I did. A lot. And loved it.

As one of those churches grew, I then understood my role changed to the ministry of programming. So my time was in teaching classes, establishing programs for children, and leading events for youth.

In this setting in Charlotte, my role was originally focused on the ministry of leadership. I needed to learn -- quickly -- how to lead a small staff and a much larger church body.

A bit later, my emphasis morphed into a ministry of defining culture. The church became "full color," and we needed that vision articulated well and articulated often.

These days? I see my role as a ministry of making space. What do I mean by that? Now I'm part of a team that makes space for the Holy Spirit to move. People have the choice of responding or not, but those of us in leadership are all about creating environments and opportunities for people to encounter the work of the Holy Spirit. That's why First Serve and Pathfinder, in particular, have been so successful. We craft an experience and create an opportunity . . . . and people respond.

Maybe that's why I like my job now better than ever before.

Pastors write books all the time.

Usually, these books are on the order of "how I did it and how you can do it too." They tell stories of phenomenal growth and influence and give readers a model they can implement for the same results in their churches.

These books have titles like Leading Beyond The Walls, It, Seven Practices Of Effective Ministry, and, of course, The Purpose Driven Church.

I have received help from reading just such books.

But I think the best book I could write would be about all the ways I've gotten it wrong and all the mistakes I've made. Instead of "here's how I did it," I think I could fill some pages with "avoid these mistakes at all costs."

I've even thought of some chapter titles.

• Losing Sleep Over Things That Really Don't Matter
• Judging Your Self-Worth Based On Sunday Attendance
• Avoiding Necessary Conflict Through Skillful Passive-Aggression
• Neglect Your Own Prayer Life!
• Always Compare Yourself With Other Preachers
• Saying "Yes" When "No" Would Be Wiser
• Let Emotions Color Decisions
• How To Confuse Being Liked With Being Controlled
• Be Anxious For Everything

I could go on.

What would your "book of mistakes" look like?

More to the point, would that book be full of mistakes you've made repeatedly? Or have you by God's grace been empowered to break unhealthy cycles in ministry and leadership?

Because that subject would be a good second book.

This week I heard about a church that got "scammed" out of money by some persons posing as legitimate benevolent cases.

It's a concern. Especially in the recession. Especially in our congregation, where we have been blessed beyond all expectation in the area of finances. Especially when you don't want to turn Jesus away in an attempt to be good stewards.

So we have some guidelines that have helped us make benevolent decisions in recent years. I hope they help us balance ministry to "the least of these my brethren" with being good stewards of the congregation's hard-earned dollars.

Our guidelines are neither perfect nor foolproof. But I offer them for you to consider in your areas of ministry:

1) When people approach the church asking for help with rent, utilities, food, or travel, we have them complete a thorough questionnaire. That effort alone helps to separate the truly needy for those who travel from church to church to church as a means of survival.

2) We do not entertain requests on Sunday morning. Sadly, those who take advantage of the situation (others might call them 'scam artists') know that church staff & volunteers are busy and distracted on Sunday morning. So churches will often write a quick check to a) alleviate their own guilt and b) deal with a problem speedily. To counter that, if anyone comes to church on a Sunday morning asking for financial help, we simply ask them to come back on Monday when our office can handle their request.

3) We also do not provide travel assistance. People often show up at church telling us how they are "on their way" to Tennessee or Georgia and need gas, food, or lodging. There is simply no way to verify the claims. Several years ago, we helped such a traveler . . . whom I saw the next week motoring up I-77 towards uptown Charlotte.

4) We are quick to help with light and gas bills -- especially if children are involved.

5) We reserve larger gifts for rent & mortgage for people who attend the church. In 2009 we have been able to prevent a number of evictions and foreclosures among the people who call Good Shepherd home. Again, if we are going to make that much of an investment -- $800 to $1,000 -- it really helps to know the people personally.

6) In May of 2009, we gave a one-time gift of $40,000 to Crisis Assistance Ministry and their mission of rent, utilities, and dignity. You can read about that day here.

Benevolent ministry is a delicate balancing act. While we hope to err on the side of generosity, we also want to be excellent guardians of the funds entrusted to us.

These guidelines have helped us take steps towards that balance.

A couple of weeks ago, I posted on the Class Matters training seminar we hosted at Good Shepherd.

Of all the statistics and anecdotes regarding the differences between those raised in chronic poverty and those raised in middle class comfort, this one has haunted me the most: