In recent months, certain athletes, politicians, and clergy have been in the headlines for all the wrong reasons.

So what do we do around here to make sure the we don't get that kind of press?

While no method is foolproof, there are a few boundaries we've drawn on staff that help:

• If you're married, no driving in a car alone with a member of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.
• If you're married, no meals alone with a member of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.
• Side hugs only, please. Full frontal hugs are only asking for trouble.
• Before hitting "send" on an email or text message to a member of the opposite sex, ask, "would I send this if my husband/wife saw it?"
• Pay close attention to your relationship with your mate. So close that you don't have time or energy to pay attention to others who aren't your mate. This year, the church gave each of its pastors a weekend for two at the Wild Dunes Resort on the Isle of Palms. Nice.

We do our best to live into those boundaries.

Because there are some headlines we don't ever want to make.

A couple of years ago, Guy Kawasaki, former Apple executive and current venture capitalist, told some of the leaders of Good Shepherd: "It's good to polarize people."

Those are scary words to hear.

Pastors and church leaders naturally want to comfort people, not polarize them.

But Kawasaki's next line put it all in perspective: "Mediocrity comes from trying to please everyone."

Wow.

So we've slowly but surely tried to move away from mediocrity and towards effectiveness. To get there involves . . .

• Not asking the question, "but who will this make mad?" quite as often;
• Remembering that we have the goal of "de-weirding" Christianity to a world that all-too-often sees us as judgmental and out of touch;
• Reminding each other that people matter to God, especially ones "missing" from him;
• Honoring the adrenaline rush that comes from saying or singing or projecting something unexpected and provocative;
• Showing extravagant love to those people who have been with Good Shepherd forever and stick with it even when it stretches them. I think many of them would rather be part of a church that is alive yet uncomfortable than a church that is predictable but dying.
• Celebrating all the new people who say, "I can't believe you all did that in church . . . and that's why I'm coming back."

So whatever your venue of ministry, you can polarize your way towards greater effectiveness.

In church leadership, it is quite tempting to confuse personal preference for effective church strategy.

For example, I could come up with a different U2 song to go along with virtually every message I give. In fact, I would love doing that. It would suit me and my preferences just fine.

But after about the third Sunday of that, the rest of the congregation would begin to yawn. It would get stale and predictable and would get in the way of our strategy.

By the same token, many churches through the years have resisted any move towards more contemporary or modern forms of worship. Why? The preferences of the members. And with a few exceptions (such as here and here), churches that have adamantly stayed traditional in their worship have declined in attendance and impact.

So whether it's worship style or ministry design, make sure you don't mistake personal preference for kingdom strategy.