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Culture, Sports
Top Five Tuesday — Top Five Sports Rants
August 23, 2011 at 5:00 am 0
They are moments etched in time.

They are the source of phrases that have worked their way into the common vernacular.

They are, frankly, sources of unending YouTube enjoyment.

They are SPORTS RANTS.

Sometimes coaches, sometimes players. Sometimes during press conferences, sometimes during the heat of battle.

Always classic.

Here they are: my top five favorite.

Warning: though I've tried to chose edited clips, some of them have language that is . . . colorful.

5. John McEnroe, "You Cannot Be Serious!" How many classic lines in this one rant?! "Chalk flew!" "You are the pits of the world!" And then, of course, the phrase that has become its own industry: "You cannot be serious!" Often overlooked from this 1981 Wimbledon rant is that McEnroe went on to end Bjorn Borg's five year run as the champion by beating him in a four-set final. Serious.



4. Dennis Green, "The Bears Are We Thought They Were." I didn't even remember that Dennis Green coached the Cardinals. But I will always remember his frustration that his team let the Bears off the hook.



3. Jim Mora, "Playoffs?!" Now we know why the playoffs were such an absurd notion of Mora's Colts: they hadn't drafted Peyton Manning yet.



2. Mike Gundy, "I'm a man, I'm 40!" Oklahoma State's Gundy was trying to protect his own quarterback from newspaper coverage in Stillwater and offers himself up as a fitting alternative. Offer accepted:



1. Allen Iverson, "Practice? We're talking about practice?" Ah, it must be nice to be so good you don't need to, um, practice. You know this is in the common vernacular when Aaron Rogers responds to a poor Packers practice session by tweeting it . . . much to Mike Sherman's chagrin.

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Culture
Ten Years Gone . . .
December 31, 2009 at 7:00 am 4
On January 1, 2000 . . .

  • The iPod had not been invented.
  • The World Trade Center towers still stood.
  • Charlotte's basketball team was called the Hornets.
  • South Tryon Street had two lanes from Tyvola Rd. to the Buster Boyd Bridge.
  • Roger Federer was young, inconsistent, and seemed like one of those players with more potential than accomplisment.
  • Most Americans had never heard of Afghanistan, couldn't find it on a map, and had no idea its capital city is called Kabul.
  • Facebook was what we called the freshman year directory at my college in 1980.
  • I still preached in a suit and tie.
  • U2 was teetering on the verge of irrelevance.
  • The New England Patriots were more laughingstock than dynasty.
  • Barack Obama was in the Illinois State Senate.
  • A Blackberry was what you ate if no Blueberries were available.
  • I listened to music on cassette tapes.
  • Good Shepherd still sent its bulletin/newsletter out every week via snail mail. Then you came to church and were handed the exact same material.
  • The Dow was at 11497.
  • Rivergate Shopping Center did not exist, meaning the nearest Chick-Fil-A was seven miles away.
  • My sermons had four points. Fill-in-the-blank.
  • Tiger Woods was best known for his golf.
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